Graveyards of Understanding
by Lilly Winters
Summary: Zim wonders why Gaz is such a cold-natured girl. But during a walk, he may find out why and regret ever questioning her.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**

**Hey guys. I will warn you: this is my first story that is sad and doesn't really have a happy ending. I don't usually do this, but I wanted to see what you guys thought of this story. It is EXTREMELY short so it is a quick read, but I would appreciate it if you left reviews :). It is just a short story explaining Gaz's anger. Enjoy.**

**I do not own Invader Zim or the characters. This is a purely fan-made story for my awesome fans ^-^.**

"Oh, the nerve of that human!"

Each footstep stabbed the sidewalk, his hollers waking the sleeping city. Zim glared angrily ahead as he made his way around. Gir had to run in order to keep up with his master's swift pace. His hands balled into fists at his side and he shook his head.

"That Gaz-human can be hard to deal with. Every time I see her she is miserable!"

He did not notice they had made their way into the town cemetery. Gir whimpered and inched closer to Zim at the sight of the burial ground, but Zim remained oblivious to it all. He was still too busy fuming about the dark girl's personality; a personality he could do without. Dead trees hung to the ground, not a single sign of life on their branches. In fact, there was not a single sign of life anywhere. All that was there was that of the haunted remains of death. The only sign of hope of escaping the dreary land was that of the stars which glistened brightly above. The moon hung full and lit the path for the small Irken and his fake dog. Zim absentmindedly weaved his way throughout the graves, occasionally glancing at the engravings on each stone. He could hear animals, birds maybe, moving on the branches of trees and bushes. Their silence remained as they mourned the loss of the life that had once graced the graveyard.

"I mean seriously, what does the human have to be so unhappy about. I do not understand why she—" But he stopped. He stared down one gravestone that was clearer than the others. On it, MEMBRANE was inscribed across the cold stone. Below, it stated 'Loving mother and wife'. And finally, there was a picture of Dib, the Professor, Gaz, and her mother. Immediately, the anger left him and was replaced with sorrow.

"Oh…" he stated, perhaps finally understanding the reasoning of her harsh nature.

**A/N**

**Aw…Poor Gaz. Well I hope you enjoyed it and thanks for reading.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**

**So I decided to write another chapter for Graveyards of Understanding. It is a very short chapter, but I did not want to leave the story hanging. I hope you like it and sorry if it is depressing. I am kind of depressed myself right now so expect some angst-filled stories :(. Reviews greatly appreciated. **

**I do not own Invader Zim or the characters. This is purely fan-made.**

Zim finally caught up with her on the skool steps. Unaware, Gaz had been followed by the Irken all day. He had tried multiple times to talk to her, but would quickly decide against it and remain silent. She had seen him standing a few feet away every now and then, staring her down, though she did not know he had been meaning to talk to her. He finally gathered up his courage enough to do so when skool ended. She sat on the steps, waiting for Dib, and did not hear him step behind her.

"Gaz?"

She turned, shielding her eyes from the sun, frowning up at him.

"What is it, Zim?"

He took a seat beside her to which she immediately pulled back. She was not used to close contact, especially from Zim. But he remained.

"I wish to apologize."

"For?" she rose an eyebrow.

"I was angry with you because I did not know why you were so unhappy all the time. But…"

Her face fell as if she knew what he was going to say.

"But…?" she pushed.

"I found out why yesterday," he sighed. "Your parental-unit, err your mother, she is deceased?" Although he saw the grave with his owns eyes, he still questioned the girl, oddly enough hoping that he was wrong. The emotions quickly flashed across her face, almost too quick for Zim to catch. At first, her face fell into that of sadness. He could see the pain from within spilling over. But soon, she grew angry. With eyebrows furrowed, she snatched her Game Slave off of the stone steps and stood.

"It doesn't matter, Zim. Just leave me alone," she hissed as she walked away.

He opened his mouth, lifting an arm after her as if hoping she would return, but she never did. Instead, he watched her round the corner and disappear out of sight.

She sighed.

_Out of sight, out of mind…_ she thought to herself solemnly.

**A/N**

**Hope you liked it. If you think it should continue further, just let me know. I have been spending a lot of time on Alien of the Opera and it is nice to take a break every now and then. Though, I think it only has one more chapter left until it is finished. But don't worry. I will surely write tons of Zagrs in the future. Thanks for reading.**

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	3. Chapter 3

**A/N**

**Here is chapter 3, the angst still continued. I don't know why but I really like this story so far. I know it is very gloomy, but I like how it has turned out so far. Sorry if it is too depressing for you guys. I have just been going through a lot lately and have been depressed myself. But before I go on about how sad I feel, I'll let you continue reading. Enjoy and review.**

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><p>After a sleepless night due to her conversation with Zim, Gaz was busy staring down at her breakfast, alone as usual. It was usually that way every morning; Dib was off doing whatever paranormal investigators do and her father was busy with his science. She heard someone trotting down the stairs quickly and assumed it was Dib. The boy stepped into the kitchen and she immediately felt his suspicion crawling all over her. Growing annoyed with his unwavering stare, she sighed and faced him.<p>

"What?" she spat.

"I saw Zim talking to you yesterday," he said as he took a seat parallel to her.

"So?" She stabbed her spoon into the pool of milk that downed the soggy remains of cereal.

"So? Gaz, he is an alien!"

She simply sighed and shook her head, returning to her previous work of glaring at her bowl.

"You don't care?"

"Why should I?"

"Because he wants to take over the world?" he asked as if it were obvious.

She shrugged.

"Then let him."

He stared at her, shocked that _his_ sibling was okay with the idea of an extraterrestrial taking over their planet. He decided to skip the lecture and moved on to what was really bothering him.

"What did he say to you?"

"What does it matter? We were just talking." She was quickly growing impatient. Not wanting the subject of her mother to come up once again, she remained stubborn and refused to budge.

"It matters a lot Gaz! What were you two talking about?" Dib asked, raising his voice to prove the urgency of the situation.

"It doesn't matter, Dib," she hissed, her tone threatening.

"Yes it does. Just tell me what was said and I'll leave you—"

But he was interrupted. She slammed her fist on the table angrily and glared up at him.

"He was apologizing about mom dying! Are you happy now?" she hollered.

All at once, Dib's face fell. He had certainly not expected that and did not have much time to respond before Gaz rose from her chair abruptly, striding bitterly towards the front door. He got up to follow, rushing to apologize.

"Gaz! Wait, I—"

Though, he was interrupted once again as the door slammed in his face.

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><p><strong>AN**

**I know Zim wasn't in this one at all, but I am pretty sure the next chapter is going to be about him and Gaz. Chapter 4 will be up soon!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N**

**Here is chapter 4. Sorry if I haven't updated in a while; I've just been going through a lot of stuff lately. But hopefully this makes up for my lack of stories :). Also, I wanted to ask you guys two questions. One, do you think this story should turn into a Zagr? And two, I am trying to decide which chapter story I want to write next but I am having a hard time. So I thought I would let you decide. **

**Your choices are:**

**A Horror/Friendship fanfic with Dib and Zim.**

**A retelling of Dark Harvest from Gaz's point of view (I know, creepy episode, but I thought it might be awesome being told from Gaz's point of view/ what happened with her XD This one would be shorter than A. or B.)**

**I'm not sure if I want to do this one or not because it would be very difficult, but I am considering it. An Alice in Wonderland fanfic, Invader Zim style lol. **

**So I'll see what you guys decide and chose from there! Thanks for the feedback and hope you like the chapter!**

Zim stood in the kitchen, preparing himself for skool. He was not aware though that Gir had answered the door as he stepped into the living room without his disguise on. Immediately, he saw Dib's dark sister and gasped, eyes wide like a frightened animal. But before he had time to flee, Gaz swiftly raised her hand.

"I already know you're an alien Zim. It doesn't matter if I see you without your disguise. I don't care if you're human or not," she snapped.

He relaxed slightly and eyed her in confusion. He nodded for her to come in and she stepped inside, shutting the door behind her.

"What are you doing here, Dib-sibling?"

She growled.

"I have a name you know."

He nodded respectfully.

"Sorry. What are you doing here, Gaz?"

Her face relaxed into sadness and she glared at the ground.

"Why did you have to bring it up?" she muttered.

He stepped forward, watching her the entire time.

"Bring what up?"

Her face swung up so that there eyes met, though she was angry.

"My mother!" she hollered. "Why did you have to remind me?" She took a seat on the couch and placed her face in her hand. He saw her rubbing her temples in frustration. Even though he was not sure why humans always seemed to do that, he did know that it meant the person was highly stressed or deeply hurt.

Gaz was hurt.

He waited a moment longer before slowly taking a seat beside her. She stiffened and gazed over quickly at him, yet her face remained down and with the way she sat, closed up and prepared to protect herself, he knew that rejection was no stranger with the small girl. He frowned, cautiously inching closer. Lifting an arm, he was about to place it around her shoulders when he saw her stiffen tremendously.

"Do not be afraid, little Gaz," he whispered. "I will not harm you."

"B…But…" she stuttered, her eyebrows furrowing in fear; fear of rejection and further pain. She did not stop him though when he gently placed an arm around her and pulled her closer. True, he could still sense that she was uncomfortable for she was not used to it, but she was slowly getting used to his touch. He peered down at her, concern etched on his face, when she looked up at him. He smiled, but it quickly faded into a frown when he saw the tears forming in her eyes.

"But I don't want to be hurt again…" she finally finished.

He grimaced as he could feel the pain from within her seemingly radiating and flowing into himself. Zim, not being one to comfort or know of concern, did not think it over when he grabbed her close and held her firmly. She nearly gasped at the sudden action, though quickly surrendered, burying her face in his shirt and hiding from the world.

**A/N**

**And there you go. Chapter 5 will be up soon!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N**

**And here is chapter 5. I'm not sure if you guys wanted this to be a Zagr, so I have been pretty much keeping it a Zagf (friendship). But if you want a Zagr, just let me know! And don't forget to tell me what story you guys want for the next chapter fanfic.**

**Enjoy! **

Gaz slammed the door shut, blocking out the ridicule of her family. As soon as she had come home from school, Dib used the first opportunity he had to question why she had been at Zim's house earlier that day. After hours of explaining over and over that it did not matter, she later found out that her dad would not be home for his yearly visit. Again. Another fight with Dib followed shortly after and she was finding the stress building up.

"Why do you have to be so angry all the time, Gaz?" she heard Dib yell from outside her door before walking away.

She cried as she grabbed a pillow and threw it fiercely at the door. _Why don't they understand me?_ She thought to herself, her mind yelling in desperation. Her family had always been that way: growing angry when she was angry instead of stopping to consider why she was mad.

_If they knew, maybe they would understand…_

She stepped in front of the mirror, her thoughts pounding inside her mind. The sight of tears flowing down her face made her angrier. She growled, leaving the mirror and going to the corner of the room.

Jerking the top drawer open of her dresser, she began to rummage through the clothes in search of something. Her hand hit an icy, jagged razor. She shook as she pried it open and lifted her wrist into view. The previous scars glared back, a sign to the world of the pain this girl was feeling. The aged wounds remained lifeless, though they still seemed to mock her, constantly relishing the anguish she was drowning in. She shook uncontrollably as she brought it closer, closer… She did not want to die, she did not want to hurt; she merely wanted the pain to end. The makeup caked around her eyes burned as fresh tears came. She gritted her teeth and squinted, groaning lightly. A sharp pain cut through her body as the knife pierced the delicate flesh. Through blurry vision, she saw the crimson beginning to flow. The pain was awful, yet relieving in an odd, messed up way.

She sobbed uncontrollably and staggered to her door, locking it so that no one could see her in such a weak state. She stared at the blood dripping from her wrist. Her mind became focused on each drop and reassured her over and over that this would help. She had to rid herself of the pain somehow… But a small part of her cried out, knowing this was not the way to go.

A tap on the window woke her from her trance. Her heart stopped at the realization of who it was.

Zim. There was no mistaking the Irken; the metallic legs clinging to the side of her house and the familiar black wig gave him away instantly.

She quickly searched for something to hide the bleeding wound on her wrist. She did not want him to see. Though, she discovered she was too late as she heard him step inside.

He watched the crimson liquid drip recklessly from her pained wrist. She awaited the judgment, her eyebrows furrowed in pain from both the wound on her wrist and the wound on her soul.

But it never came.

Instead, he wrapped his arms around her, bringing her to the floor as she dropped in a helpless heap to the stained carpet below. He pressed her face close to his chest and slowly let his claw glide down her hair.

"I don't mean too," she sobbed. "I really don't…"

"Shhhh… little Gaz. It will be all right," he whispered. "It will be all right…"

The spider-like legs protruding from his PAK wrapped securely around her body and pulled her close. She pulled back, but just enough to look up at him.

"Why are you doing this, Zim?" she asked, dragging her sleeve across her face. "Why are you helping me?"

He smiled weakly.

"Perhaps we are not so different after all, Gaz…"

She looked up at him in confusion, but he was already pulling her close again. As he moved closer to her, his shirt lifted slightly. She gasped lowly, though leaned her head against his chest and wrapped one hand around his arm. His shirt still faintly lifted, she used her other hand to gently caress the dark scars that engraved his body.

**A/N**

**I just wanted to point out a few things! One, when it said that Gaz locked the door so no one could see her weak state, I am in no way saying that people who cut are weak. I know that sounds odd that I should tell you guys this, but I just don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Second, if you were confused by the ending, basically, Zim's shirt had lifted slightly when he was moving closer to Gaz and when it did, she could see scars on his body. That was what he meant when he said that perhaps they were not so different after all.**

**Now that all of that is cleared up, I hope you guys liked it! I am not really sure how I am going to end this story, unless you want me to just leave it at that and make this the final chapter lol. Either way, see you in my next chapter/story.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N**

**Sorry it took a while, but here is the next chapter. And to those who think this story has been too depressing, it was supposed to be an angst story. That is what the beginning said ^-^. But, for those who did think it was too sad, this chapter is happier than the rest. For those of you who liked the angst, don't worry. It is still sad too. Well, that was a confusing author's note XD. Anyways, enjoy and Review!**

Gaz groaned and grabbed her head in confusion. She opened her eyes and began to panic. She vaguely remembered that she had fallen asleep shortly after Zim arrived, though she did not remember leaving her house. And she was certainly no longer at her house.

She rose and walked over to a nearby window, looking out in search of anything familiar. Her eyes only met the vast darkness of space. The metallic structure floated aimlessly as though it did not exist. Her trembling hand clung limply to her pounding head.

"Maybe I am dreaming," she mumbled.

"No, Gaz. This is all real."

She turned to find Zim standing behind her. He had a smug grin on his face.

"Why are you so happy?" she asked, resisting the urge to smile herself.

"Are you impressed?"

She raised an eyebrow, "With?"

His face fell and he glared around at the base as if it were obvious. She laughed and walked over to him. The arrogant grin was replaced with a friendly smile, but as the distance dissolved between the pair, he began to look afraid. He was officially panicking when she wrapped her arms around him and embraced him tightly. Eyes widened in shock, he peered curiously down at the girl.

"Thank you," she whispered into his shirt.

He faltered, but soon, a content smile crossed his face. He let an arm hang loosely around her and shook his head.

"You don't need to thank me, Gaz." He curled a finger beneath her chin, lifting her face so that she was face-to-face with the Irken. "But we do need to talk."

The sudden, serious tone is voice had obtained concerned her. Her eyebrows furrowed in worry. "Talk about what?" she asked with uncertainty.

He pulled away from her embrace, though remained close to her. She watched his claw slowly grip his shirt and, with slight hesitation, peeled it away from his body, revealing the scars beneath. She did not know how to respond so she simply stared both in horror and sympathy. He opened his mouth, but she beat him to it as her eyes quickly swung up to meet his.

"Who did this to you?" she questioned angrily.

"My leaders," he said bluntly.

"Why would they do that to you?"

He shrugged. "I have failed many times. I suppose I deserved it at the time. But Gaz—"

"No," she interrupted, shaking her head, "they still had no right to do that to you."

He smiled faintly, seemingly lost in thought.

"I was showing you this for a reason," he glanced down at the scars. "I guess what I am trying to say, Gaz," he gently grabbed her hands and held her arms so that her damaged wrists were plain in sight. She cringed at the reminder, but Zim quickly recaptured her attention. "Is that we all have our scars to deal with," he finished, his whispering voice nearly lost in the vast, empty void of space.

Eyebrows furrowed, she glared at the aged wounds on her arms. She was ashamed of the cuts. She did not want anyone to find out. Above all, she did not want Zim to find out. Ever since he had brought up her mother, oddly enough, she found the respect she held for the Irken growing. Another feeling was present also and it frightened her. She was feeling…different; each time it happened when she saw Zim. The foreign feeling confused and worried her, though she did not have much time to dwell on the concern as Zim swiftly brought her close. He buried his face in her hair, pushing her violet hair to the side until she could feel his breath running down the side of her face and down her neck.

"We may not have the approval or understanding of others," he purred lightly. A finger curled beneath her chin and lifted it so that she was facing him. "But it is possible to have each other."

She could see in his pleading eyes that he was asking for her acceptance. He could not find a way to ask it out right, yet his eyes seemed to take care of all the speaking for him. Face serious, but her soul crying out, she nodded and wrapped her arms around his neck, leaning her face into his chest. For so long, she had searched for this acceptance. No more judgment, no more pain; just someone who would take her for her. Scars included. She smiled to herself as a tear of relief dripped from her eye. _I finally found you_, her mind whispered to the Irken.

**A/N**

**And I think this will be the final chapter. Not exactly sure. I may decide to write more, but probably only if you guys tell me you want it to turn into a Zagr. Also, let me know what chapter story you want next. So far, I have gotten the Alice in Wonderland idea. And if I do do Alice, it will be like the new Disney one. And I will probably add Zagr to it XD. Don't hate me for my obsession, everyone needs a little Zim and Gaz romance in their life ^-^. Also, sorry if there was mistakes in this one. I am EXTREMELY tired right now. I hope you like/liked the story!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N**

**Graveyards of Understand is BACK! I thought it was finished, but someone requested it to be turned into a Zagr so here we are now :D I hope you guys like it because, personally, this is my favorite chapter yet ;) Enjoy and Review!**

Hands groping, eyes squeezed shut, her fingers landed on something soft and vaguely familiar. She gasped and opened her eyes. Now sitting up, she saw that she was in her room on her bed as she looked around. The moon hung timidly in the sky, a fog drifting over the city. How long she had been home, she was uncertain. Last she remembered, she was floating aimlessly in outer space with Zim.

"I'm…home?" she asked the silence.

"Of course you are home."

She jumped, unaware that someone had been in the room with her, and spun to greet the face hidden by the shadows. Zim was leaned against the wall, smiling softly. She raised an eyebrow and he stood up, walking slowly towards her.

"Of course you are home," he repeated. "You knew you had to return, did you not, my dear?"

She watched as he took a seat next to her and slid his hand up her arm. Pulling it into the light of the moon, both Gaz and Zim frowned when the scars on her wrist grew visible.

"And, unfortunately," he whispered, peering down at the cuts, "that happened, too."

She frowned, sighed, and turned away from the sight. Pulling her hand away, she said lowly, "That nightmares been reoccurring…" _The cuts are my nightmare_, her mind hollered, yet whispered all at once. Zim followed her actions of turning away, though he quickly stood and extended a hand. She glanced at his hand before looking curiously at him. He nodded and she gently placed her hand in his. Leading her over to the window, he slid the glass to the side and stepped out onto the ledge lining the side of her house. When she realized he wanted her to follow, she glared at the ground which rested far below, mocking and taunting, but calling her too. Without another word, she stepped onto the ledge also and, after much climbing, the pair landed softly on the ground.

Zim led the way on their walk which gave Gaz time to glimpse at her watch. It was 2:19 AM. Oddly, she felt more awake and alive than she had in weeks. Was it the fog that seemed to consume the two and isolate them from society? Could it have been the comforting silence that fell over the pair? Or was it simply her company? She snuck a quick glance at the Irken who remained oblivious and continued to look ahead. He seemed content like her as he quietly led the way and stayed by her side.

After many twists and turns, road signs and lifeless streets, the city park grew into view. Even though Gaz was confused as to why he had brought her there, still he remained silent as they made their way through. Finally stopping at the playground, she realized how different the place looked at night; it was nearly frightening. The swings floated and drifted on the soft breeze while the fake, wooden train resting in the mulch casted off shadows that shrank back into the darkness, hiding from the glimmer of light that fell from the moon. Surrounding the playground was a group of trees and each time she turned away, she could have sworn she saw someone or something moving from behind the trunks. She backed away nervously, but when she did so, she leaned right against Zim's chest. The blood rushed to her cheeks and she was about to move away. Though, Zim wrapped his arms securely around her so that she could not leave. She froze, unfamiliar with the tender contact. He took over and ran a hand softly up her leg and up to her hip, leaving his claw to rest there. Leaning his face next to her ear, she heard him purr with pleasure after she looked up at him. There eyes seemed to lock when they connected. Metallic legs grew out of his PAK and wrapped around her delicate frame before he removed a hand and ran it gently across her face. Seeing her hesitation, he paused. Though, she complied and gave in right as he brought his lips to hers. Her eye lids slid shut and everything around her slowly began to dissolve until they were in total darkness. Only this time, the darkness did not frighten her. This time, she was with Zim.

Absorbed in her partner, she did not hear leafs crinkling behind her. Zim did. He broke away from her, his head quickly facing the direction of the sound. Suddenly, his eyes widened and Gaz knew something was wrong. She pulled away just enough to look over, but she too was shocked. Standing there, eyebrows furrowed and fists balled, was her brother, Dib.

"Zim…" he growled.

**A/N**

**Ha-ha, ah yes, the infamous cliffhanger. I am so evil ;)**

**I hope you liked it and chapter 8 will be up soon!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N**

**First off, I want to apologize for the delay of this chapter! It wasn't my fault, though. My stupid computer crashed :l. I'm just glad to be back to writing. Well, thanks for you understanding and patience and I hope you enjoy the chapter!**

Dib's glare remained unwavering as Zim pulled away, attempting to undo the damage that had already been done. Gaz stepped forward.

"What are you doing here, Dib?"

"I could ask you the same question," he hissed, deliberately staring down the Irken that stood by his little sister. Zim, who remained in a state of shock at the realization of Dib's unexpected presence, simply stared back in a non-challenging, yet assertive manner. Gaz furrowed her eyebrows and stood in the middle of the silent war between the human and the alien.

"Look, it doesn't matter. I came with him willingly."

"I know," he nodded sternly.

"You know?" she asked. "Then what's the big deal?"

"What's the big deal?" Dib questioned in disbelief. "What's the big deal? Gaz, the big deal is that my little sister is running off with that, that," he pointed disgracefully at Zim, "disgusting, space monster in the middle of the night to go make out with him in the park!"

Hearing the name he had been called, Zim folded his arms. "Shut your noise-tube, Dib-beast. I have done no harm to your little sister."

"No, he hasn't," Gaz stepped in. "As a matter of fact, he has been the only one not causing me trouble." She peered bitterly at Dib.

"Oh, what and I have?"

"Believe it or not, Dib," she growled, her voice dangerously low and filled with anger, but pain, "yes. You and the rest of humanity!" she threw her hand in the air, gesturing around her. "Ever since day one, I have always been an outcast in my own society. People never accepted me because they never understood me. I couldn't even count on my own family for understanding."

Dib's eyes widened.

"What are you talking about, Gaz? Dad and I have always been there for you."

"That's the thing. You weren't," she turned her back to him. "Ever since mom died, I seemed to fade into the background. Almost as if…" She could see Zim staring at her, sympathy and understanding flooding his eyes. It was that understanding that she found in his eyes that she deeply wished she could find in her brother's. She sighed ruggedly. "…as if I didn't even exist…"

"I don't know why you feel this way. We've never treated you that way."

Gaz spun around, eyes fiery and fists clenched tight. "Oh really? So you're telling me that all of that is just in my head? You're saying that all of those years spent crying alone in my room, wishing that someone would be there for me were all a dream?" She stepped in front of him quickly, her hand dragging the sleeves away from her wrist and revealing her scars. "Are you saying that these scars are all fake, too?" she screamed. Finally, the tears poured down her face, yet it remained twisted with anger. Dib's eyes widened at the sight of the blades memory on his sister's arms.

"Gaz…" he whispered, shocked.

"You have no idea what I have been through, Dib," she spat. "So don't you _dare_ try to tell me that this was all in my head!" She pulled her arm back to her side, turned abruptly, and walked towards Zim. Zim began to follow her absentmindedly.

"Gaz," Dib called, reaching a hand towards her, "wait!"

"It's too late, Dib." She cried over her shoulder, shaky hands clinging desperately to Zim as she led the way to his base. "I already found the one I was looking for…"

**A/N**

**Aww poor Gaz :(. Sorry if this chapter wasn't as good as the others. I was just extremely tired lol. But, I hope you still liked it. Chapter 9 will be up soon!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N**

**Tons of Zagr in this chapter! Hehe I know you will all love this one. I'll tell you what, listening to music while reading this is epic XD. I was listening to My Last Breath by Evanescence whenever I was editing this and it was just so dramatic, yet sweet that it made me think, "Holy cow! This is awesome!" Lol I'm not trying to pat myself on the back, I just love me a good Zagr in the morning! Er… *glances at clock that reads past 8:00 PM* Good Zagr at…night. O_O Whatever! You all know what I mean XD Enjoy and Review! You guys rock!**

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><p>Moans and groans, shouts and screams, memories, and failures; her body jerked and twitched as each one took a turn at piercing her. Zim looked worriedly at Gaz. It appeared that she was having a nightmare and if that was true, he quickly wished to snatch her away from the terror. Crossing the distance of his living room, he peered down at the couch on which the troubled teenager rested. He gently rested a claw on her shoulder, shook her softly, and called her name. A loud gasp escaped her dry mouth and her eyes shot open. Though, when she stared at him in horror, he knew right away: she was not fully awake.<p>

She rose and backed away. "Get away from me!" she hollered.

Zim listened and allowed the distance between the pair to grow for a moment, but he stopped and began walking towards her slowly. She backed herself against the wall, fear evident in her eyes, and raised her hands to defend herself. He hated the fact that she felt she had to protect herself from him. Yes, she was sleepwalking. Yes, she was still dreaming. But the look of terror, the fear in her voice broke his heart with each trembling step she took away from him.

"Gaz…" he whispered soothingly. "It's okay. You are just dreaming. None of this is real. You'll wake up soon."

Her lower lip quivered and, with hesitation, she lowered her guard and turned her back to him.

"Rejection."

He glanced up at her, softly raising an eyebrow.

"What?"

She swallowed hard and he could see her eyes watering.

"Rejection. It," she paused, leaning her head against the wall. "It hurts. It hurts deeply." She let out a stressed sigh. He watched her closely. Legs shaking, body tense, one hand resting lifelessly in her pocket while the other remained loosely gripping onto the wall for support, she was still in the nightmare in her mind and the nightmare known as Life. He took a slow step towards her and, either oblivious or no longer afraid, she did not turn to look at the movement. She simply remained staring at the wall.

"Tell Dib I'm sorry."

His body tensed.

"What do you mean?"

She shook her head. "I didn't mean anything I said last night to him. It wasn't him that was the failure as a family member. He wasn't the one who was wrong. It was me." She withdrew a blade from her pocket with the hand that was moments ago hiding within the shadowy fabric. "He didn't know about my scars or my pain because I never let him in. I shut him out," she pulled her sleeve back and brought the blade to her skin. Flinching at the icy touch of the knife, she swallowed hard. "Just like I do with everyone else." She prepared herself to leave another memory, another regret, another scar on her wrist.

Only this time, Zim was there.

Without thinking, he raced towards her and spun her around. Metallic legs shot out of his PAK and wrapped around her hands. They brought them to her side and kept the blade away from her wrist. His claws tightened onto her shoulders and held her against the wall, forbidding her to harm herself. He gritted his teeth at the shock and pain in her wide eyes.

"You let _me_ in, Gaz!"

He pressed his lips firmly to hers. Both of their bodies shaking, he pulled back and pushed loose hairs that had fallen on her face aside before quickly returning to her. Suddenly, she gasped, a shocked moan escaping her lips. She was now awake, but all she was concerned about was the Irken holding her against the wall, kissing her. Her hands released the blade and Zim heard the most pleasing sound when it thudded against the floor of his base.

With no intention of letting go, he moved the metallic legs around her back and pulled her closer. A pleasing chill ran up her spine as he wrapped a hand loosely around her waist, sliding it up and down her back. He pulled away and stared into her eyes.

A hand nervously found its way up to her forehead, wiping away the sweat that had gathered on her heated skin. She glanced around the room quickly, clearly unaware of where she was at. But her eyes found their way to Zim once again. She did not have time for questions, though, because he swiftly pulled her into a strong embrace. He remained emotionless, not even completely sure as to how to react. But what he did know was that she needed support. Whether her family or anyone else accepted her or she did block them out did not matter. She needed acceptance. She needed love. She needed him.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**

**Aw! Scream if you love Zagr! Oh wait. You're parents/family members/ land lord/any random person at that, would probably get mad and post wanted posters reading "Wanted: Lilly Winters. Dead! *evil laugh*" So just softly whisper "Zagr!" XD Well, TTYL you guys are the best!**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N**

**The final chapter has arrived! Well my dear friends ( ) we have been through a lot! Through depressing chapters and Zagr moments though, it has been worth it :D. I really hope you guys liked this story and thanks for all of the wonderful reviews! You guys rock!**

She stepped forward, allowing herself time, but also pushing herself to continue onward. Her hand began shaking and her body started to tremble. She tightened her eyes, but even through the pressure, the tears managed to escape. She sniffled and wiped them away. She had cried enough. No more tears. No more pain. She gripped the violet rose, tracing each petal with her finger. One by one, her fingers straightened and released the flower. Slowly, it drifted; falling, floating. The soft thud echoed through her head when it hit the ground. Somehow, though, she felt the pain escape her body. She kneeled beside the grave of her mother and placed her forehead against the stone.

"I love you."

She stood, her eyes remaining on the name of her mother engraved on the stone. So many times she had wished it was a different name. When she was younger, she prayed that there would not be a name on the stone each time she visited. Now, she was able to release the agony. She would always remember her mother, but now she would recall their time together in a different way.

A hand laced around hers and she smiled back at Zim who stood behind her. He nodded and let her rest her head on his shoulder. They began to walk away, but a soft beep from her cell phone grabbed her attention. She glanced at her pocket, flipped the device open, and her eyes fell upon the small symbol on the screen that alerted her to a new voicemail.

With the press of a button, she was connecting to the message and listening closely.

"Hey, Gaz. It's Dib. Um, I just wanted to say… Well, I'm sorry. I never wanted you to feel that way. I know I was never there when I should have been. When I saw you hanging around Zim, I got mad. But now I think I understand. He gave you something I didn't. I have been really worried about you so if you could give me a call back, I would really like to hear from you. And maybe," his voice cracked to which he cleared his throat, "maybe we could forget everything else and just start over? I love you, Gaz and no matter what, even if you don't want me there, I will be there for you. Bye."

She closed her phone and Zim glanced down at her. She frowned, yet it quickly faded into a smile.

"Come on."

He looked at her, confused.

"Where are we going?"

She stopped and turned back to him.

"We need to go talk to Dib."

He raised an eyebrow.

"We?""

She nodded and laughed, gripping onto his arm. He smiled and began walking towards her house. And for once, when she looked up, she was able to see a clear sky with a sun shining. No more clouds, no more rain; no more tears and no more pain.

**A/N**

**Oh yeah! Hope you guys liked it and expect to see MUCH more Zagr from me! Peace out!**


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